What He Did
Write 500 words ☐
Write a poem ☐
Write a poem for Paula ☐
Write any poem ☐
Write anything ☐
Write a word (for Paula?) ☐
Write a word ☐
Date pudding ☑
And it was evening, and it was morning, one day.
Email Paula ☐
Reply to Paula ☐
Feel guilty for lack of productivity ☑
And it was evening, and it was morning, a second day.
Do taxes ☐
Feel guilty for date pudding ☑
And it was evening, and it was morning, a third day.
Exercise 30 min ☐
Exercise 15 min ☐
Go outside ☐
Feel guilty for feeling guilty ☑
Reject a negative thought ☐
Avoid crowds ☑
Reject a negative thought ☑
And it was evening, and it was morning, a fourth day.
Get enough sleep ☐
Clean teeth evening ☐ morning ☐
Have a shower ☐
Feel guilty for lack of personal hygiene ☐
Clean teeth muthafucka you can’t go to the dentist in the apocalypse!!!
And God said, “Let the waters swarm a swarming of living creatures.” And God created the great sea monsters, 15,000 virus species with which the waters swarmed, and God saw that it was good. And God said, “Fill the waters of the seas,” and they did, between 10,000 and 200,000 of them in every drop of seawater.
And it was evening ☑, and it was morning ☑, a fifth day.
1000 words translation/2000 words editing ☐
500 words translation/1000 words editing ☐
200 words translation ☐
100 words translation ☐
0-50 words translation ☐
1 hr work ☐
Write a word ☐
Feel guilty for not writing a word ☑
And behold, it was very good, and it was evening, and it was morning, a sixth day.
Apply for wage subsidy ☑
DO TAXES ☐
Feel guilty for living in NZ ☑
Now the viruses of the heavens and the earth were completed and all their hosts. And God completed on the seventh day His work what he did, and He abstained on the seventh day from all His work what he did because there was no more work and He was out of it.
Eat enough calories ☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑
Ice cream? Milo?
Feel guilty for having a functional government ☑
And behold, God had created a universe so it did not matter that He was out of work because He had His universal income. There was evening, and there was morning, a 16th day.
Feel guilty for being alive ☑
God was never bothered again. There was evening, and there was morning, a 26th day.
Charlotte Simmonds is a writer, editor and translator indoors, Wellington.